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"Even if you are at the ends of the earth, the Lord your God will come and rescue you." Deuteronomy 30:4
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Lately the Lord has thrust upon me mounting evidence for the absolute idiocy that is life. Or, more specifically, how much I/we need to rely solely on Him, because allowing other humans...even close friends or family...to affect your emotions will wreck havoc on your heart and self-esteem.
To be blunt, people are stupid. I include myself within this generalization. Not only are we stupid, we're also immature, selfish, unthoughtful, unfaithful, unreliable, insincere, unaware, ambiguous, and just plain stupid. Oh, wait, I already said that. Stupid me.
I really can't explain why I've been realizing these things more and more because I'm not trying to offend anyone. Undoubtedly someone's feelings would get hurt because s/he would read my blog, realize I'm referring to him/her, and then want to talk to me about it. But my blog isn't my method of sideways confronting you, hoping you'll come try to work things out with me. It's here for me and you merely choose to read it.
Regardless, the point of this diatribe is my frustration with people and my disbelief that a woman exists who either A) is reliable, thoughtful, sincere, etc. or B) is occasionally insincere, unaware, selfish, etc., but has a heart grounded enough in the Lord that she'll understand when I communicate my feelings of disappointment or hurt and then be empathetic. I am speaking of my future spouse, if I am meant to wed, because she will be the one person I love and seek a relationship with that closest compares to the relationship I seek with the Lord. In other words, she will be someone I can rely on in a similar manner...although not identical...to the way I rely on God, so to believe a woman exists out there who I can trust and depend on/in that much is difficult to comprehend.
I realize at times I'm overly critical of others and fail to give them the benefit of the doubt, which I believe is the way I'm feeling right now. However, I do my best to be aware of how others are feeling and to always be sincere, unselfish, and mature in my actions. The fact that so many people usually behave in a way that does not exhibit the slightest awareness, sincerity, or unselfishness is incomprehensible to me. As a result I get frustrated. I am by no means saying I'm a wonderful guy. I'm actually pretty close to scum, if not scum itself. However, I have not, and do not ever expect to behave in some of the idiotic, unthoughtful, and immature ways I have experienced others behaving in lately.
My expectations of other people are too high. I think it says something when I think back on my life and cannot recall a single person who has not disappointed or failed me on multiple occasions. It says two things...A) I remember negative behavior too easily (AKA: I have a hard time letting disappointments and failures go) and B) I should have learned this lesson by now.
Thus I turn to the Lord. I know His plan for me includes the events of the past days. They are far too random to not be divinely influenced. The outcome I do not know, but I am confident it will be for the best. He has something wonderful in store for me and I look forward to experiencing it and, ultimately, using it to glorify Him.
Friends, I beseech you to remember 2 things...
1 - God is good
2- We are not
Amen.
To be blunt, people are stupid. I include myself within this generalization. Not only are we stupid, we're also immature, selfish, unthoughtful, unfaithful, unreliable, insincere, unaware, ambiguous, and just plain stupid. Oh, wait, I already said that. Stupid me.
I really can't explain why I've been realizing these things more and more because I'm not trying to offend anyone. Undoubtedly someone's feelings would get hurt because s/he would read my blog, realize I'm referring to him/her, and then want to talk to me about it. But my blog isn't my method of sideways confronting you, hoping you'll come try to work things out with me. It's here for me and you merely choose to read it.
Regardless, the point of this diatribe is my frustration with people and my disbelief that a woman exists who either A) is reliable, thoughtful, sincere, etc. or B) is occasionally insincere, unaware, selfish, etc., but has a heart grounded enough in the Lord that she'll understand when I communicate my feelings of disappointment or hurt and then be empathetic. I am speaking of my future spouse, if I am meant to wed, because she will be the one person I love and seek a relationship with that closest compares to the relationship I seek with the Lord. In other words, she will be someone I can rely on in a similar manner...although not identical...to the way I rely on God, so to believe a woman exists out there who I can trust and depend on/in that much is difficult to comprehend.
I realize at times I'm overly critical of others and fail to give them the benefit of the doubt, which I believe is the way I'm feeling right now. However, I do my best to be aware of how others are feeling and to always be sincere, unselfish, and mature in my actions. The fact that so many people usually behave in a way that does not exhibit the slightest awareness, sincerity, or unselfishness is incomprehensible to me. As a result I get frustrated. I am by no means saying I'm a wonderful guy. I'm actually pretty close to scum, if not scum itself. However, I have not, and do not ever expect to behave in some of the idiotic, unthoughtful, and immature ways I have experienced others behaving in lately.
My expectations of other people are too high. I think it says something when I think back on my life and cannot recall a single person who has not disappointed or failed me on multiple occasions. It says two things...A) I remember negative behavior too easily (AKA: I have a hard time letting disappointments and failures go) and B) I should have learned this lesson by now.
Thus I turn to the Lord. I know His plan for me includes the events of the past days. They are far too random to not be divinely influenced. The outcome I do not know, but I am confident it will be for the best. He has something wonderful in store for me and I look forward to experiencing it and, ultimately, using it to glorify Him.
Friends, I beseech you to remember 2 things...
1 - God is good
2- We are not
Amen.
